Obama Business Takeover: "It's Our Economy and We're Taking It Back!"

By The Business Insider Editors

What a week! 

Monday, President Obama announced he'd fired Rick Wagoner, CEO of General Motors.

Today, Wednesday, April 1st, Congress voted labor unions unconstitutional and initiated a regulation that immediately disbanded them. The news broke on NPR's "Good Morning" and within minutes, millions of union laborers had sent email and text messages signaling their approval. President Obama, hearing the news, said "It's our economy and we're taking it back!" Shortly thereafter, Mike Keefowver, a Columbus, Ohio, auto worker, said, "We knew we weren't being represented, but now we are."

Close on the heels of this was more stunning news coming out of the G80 Summit meeting in Brussels, where leaders from the world's most developed countries were given a pint of Ben & Jerry's "Imagine Whirled Peace" ice cream and immediately vowed to give economic stimulus packages to the world's poorest nations. Macy's promised to build department stores in third-world countries, and Nestle said it would sell baby formula without fillers in China. "It's all about markets and economics," said one attendee, who wished to remain anonymous because revealing his name would mean others would know who he is.

Exhuberant over the news coming out of the Summit, the Taliban and al-qaeda threw down their weapons and said they would work with the American government. Reports from journalists in Afghanistan and Pakistan said leaders had sent the Obama Administration email messages asking if they would be allowed to keep their bonuses and pensions. "We'll give them (ousted GM CEO) Wagoner's bonus," said one banker with close ties to the financial bailout but who asked to remain anonymous because blah blah blah. "At least they worked for it."

And, as John Fogarty sings,

...the world's gonna change and it's startin' today
There'll be no more armies no more hate
Don't you wish it was true
Now don't you wish it was true....

And a happy April Fool's Day to each and every one of you.

The Business Insider Editors

Comments

[Tom Roux]

@Editors,

Would that all of it were true! Thanks for a great chuckle and for painting a brilliant picture of what could one day be reality instead of whimsy.

Tom Roux
Editor-at-Large
The Business Insider Blog (http:www.TimRosaBlog.com)

[Jack B. Rochester]

The interesting thing about this April Fool's wish list is that, since I wrote it last week, some of these things have actually occurred: labor willing to negotiate, economic aid for the third world, overtures to making peace with the Taliban. Amazing. Just amazing. As the saying goes, "If you can dream it, you can do it."